


Little drops of rain whisper of the pain

by insaneboingo



Series: The Comfort of Brothers [11]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, New Zealand Actor RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, M/M, flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:03:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2117865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insaneboingo/pseuds/insaneboingo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam is doubting the long term of his relationship with his lovers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little drops of rain whisper of the pain

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything since December of last year, so I attempted to write during the month of August with some prompts. I will eventually be posting those here as well, but this one needed to be posted on it's own. This idea had been kicking around in my head for this series for a while. I wanted their relationship to be realistic and functional. I am very fond of polyamorous relationships being real and to make sense. Which in this series/universe it does. 
> 
> But that doesn't mean that it's all without problem. I acknowledge that 2 of these characters are in fact married men in this, and I wanted to deal with that a bit more. I've been very hesitant to actually touch on this, because it's usually just easier to pretend away or something, but I never really thought of doing that with them. 
> 
> I hope that you all like it, and it wasn't too far off course with the rest of the series. I promise to be back to my regular scheduled fluffy porn soon enough.
> 
> Work is unbeta'd and written for the prompt "Getting married". Title from "Thank You" by Led Zeppelin.

“How do you both feel about marriage?” 

The question caught both of the older men off guard, so they both froze. Mark was the first to recover. “Aside from the obvious answer, what exactly do you mean, love?”

“How do you mean obvious?” Adam asked as he grabbed cups from the cabinet and continued setting the table for dinner. It was a blustery night in Wellington and so they had opted to stay indoors and cook for themselves. There was a bit of arguing over who was going to do what, but as always, Mark had stepped in and delegated tasks for 'the boys', and set to work on dinner himself. There had only been a tiny bit of bickering in the beginning when Jed had wanted chicken instead of roast, but soon enough Mark had persuaded the younger man gently, that roast would be better for sandwiches and stew the next few days. 

“Well, we’re both married; me more than once. So, what brought this on, darling?” Mark finished taking the roast out of the oven and handed the oven mitts to Jed. He turned to face the younger man. 

“Something on your mind, love?” Jed poked at the roast with a meat fork.

“Not really. I just..” Adam trailed off. He looked at his two lovers and started again. “I’ve just been thinking, how long is this all going to work?” 

“Ah. Had a call from your mother recently, did ya?” Jed continued fussing with the meat, but didn’t turn around.

“Yes. No. I mean, yes, but that’s not got anything to do with it.” Adam said defensively. “I’ve just been thinking, and I know this can’t last forever.”

“Well what can? I mean there is a chance we won’t be here tomorrow. Nothing is forever, Adam.” Jed sounded mildly irritated, but still kept his back turned to the two men.

“Careful.” Mark said to Jed’s back. “Are you thinking that you want to get married?” Mark’s voice was gentle but held a firm tone. Adam opened his mouth to respond, but Mark held up a hand. “Let me be clear, I mean now. Are you thinking that you want to get married right now this moment?”

“No, but-” Adam stopped when Jed turned around. His expression was unreadable, and Adam knew that he had gone too far. This wasn’t the first time that they had had this conversation. It never really ended. One of them would walk off (usually Jed) or another would give in and let the subject drop. Adam never pushed it because he was afraid that he would be the odd man out. Left with no one while the other two men had their families as well as each other. Somewhere he knew that if that ever happened, he wouldn’t really be out for good. They would still be ‘brothers’, and he would still be able to have them in his life. But there would be a piece of it missing. 

His mother had constantly asked about his future with the other two me. She didn’t really understand how it all worked. How _both_ of their wives didn’t seem to mind that their husbands were out gallivanting around with other lovers. Adam had given up on trying to explain the arrangement, but he assured his mother that Mark and Jed made him happy, and that seemed to be enough for her. But every now and then she would mention the ‘long term’ of their relationship, and on certain days that would get Adam wondering himself.

How long would this really be able to last?

Realistically he knew that it would end someday. Adam knew that there eventually would be questions that would be too hard to explain away to others. He knew that this couldn’t last forever, and some days he just couldn’t stand that. He would rather it burn out when he was prepared for it. When he had pushed his luck too far and one or both of the other men had ended it. Adam could deal with the blowout and the broken heart if he was ready for it.

What he couldn’t stand was falling in too deep with two men that he knew he couldn’t have forever. 

“So if you’re not thinking about getting married right now, this very moment, why is this bothering you?” Mark walked towards the younger man. When he was close enough he rested his hands on Adam’s shoulders.

“I just..” Adam looked up at Mark and what he was going to say was lost.

“Why can’t we just be?” Jed spoke finally, walking over to stand behind Mark. “If you are really worried about getting married in the future, and it becomes so much of a problem, we’ll either deal with it or walk away.” Jed’s face was still unreadable. Adam had been with him long enough to know that that was what he did when he felt he wouldn’t be able to suppress some kind of emotion. Adam had only ever seen him get properly angry or cry a couple of times. Jed was a wonderful actor, and he knew exactly how to school himself when he thought a situation was going to get out of hand for him.

“I agree.” Mark said gently. “Why can’t we just live now and worry about the future in the future?”

“But what if..” Adam stopped and looked between his two lovers. “What if there is no future for us? What if this ends at a point where everyone realized it’s a mistake and we end up hating each other?”

“I don’t think we could ever hate you, brother.” Jed said quietly.

“I know you think that now, but what about tomorrow or next week?” Adam tried to keep his voice even, but he felt tears behind his eyes. “What if you both realize, or one of your wives realizes that ‘this’ isn’t what they entered into originally.” Adam waved his hand about trying to indicate all of them.

“What is ‘this’ exactly?” 

“This. Us. Everything.” Adam sounded hopeless as he tried to explain.

“I think they knew exactly what they were getting into when we told them about you.” Mark tried to pull the younger man closer, but he wouldn’t budge. “WE knew exactly what we were getting into, as well. I believe we’ve mentioned that you weren’t the first lovely young thing to tantalize us.”

“That’s different.” Adam was quiet, he felt like this argument was futile and he had nowhere to go. He could feel in his gut that this was going to be the end of everything. That instead of leaving well enough alone he had gone and push. So now instead of having a fantastic dinner, he was headed straight for heartbreak.

“You’re right they were different.” Jed said, gently moving Mark out of the way and stepping close to the younger man. “None of them were you. They couldn’t hold a candle to you, darling.” 

Adam looked up at the older man, and took a shaky breath. Jed smiled and reached forward to cup the younger man’s cheek.

“I don’t think I could lose you both, and sometimes I just think that this is all going to end horribly.” Adam couldn’t stop the tears then. “That Yolande or one of you will just realize that this isn’t going to last and let me down easy.”

“What have we ever done to have you think that we’re ever letting you go?” Jed said, wiping the tears away gently.

“Adam, love, what do you think happened when we told our wives about you?”

“I don’t know, I just assumed they were angry but eventually agreed.” Adam sniffed, trying to stop his crying. He felt weak and small; and the tears only added to that state of mind.

“Yolande said, and you are welcome to ask her when you see her next, ‘It’s ‘bout time you rooted that boy, you’ve been hounding him for weeks.’” Jed smiled.

Adam laughed despite his tears.

“And if you really thought that my wife was just ‘putting up with you’ why do you think we invited you back for Christmas? It was her idea, you know?” Mark cautiously into the younger man’s side.

“Really?” Adam sounded genuinely surprised. He looked at the older man, and Mark nodded.

“Did you really think that we were just going to kick you to the curb one day?” Jed wiped away the rest of Adam’s tears and let his hands fall to the younger man’s shoulders.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think that it would last this long, honestly. I figured that you were both just at a place where you didn’t know how to break it to me gently.” Adam ducked his head, trying to push away what felt like sobs.

“Darling.” Mark tilted Adam’s face up until he was looking him in the eyes. “We have no plans on ever getting rid of you. Your ours now.” 

Adam let himself smile at that, feeling like he really did belong there with them in that moment. All of the fears from earlier were pushed away and replaced with hope for a future where he did fit in with their lives, comfortably. 

“And if you’re still worried, look at the both of us.” Mark cocked his head towards Jed. “I can never get rid of this one, no matter what I try.” 

“Hey!” Jed made a grab for the older man, but he stepped out of the way. Adam laughed as he was then made into a human shield as Jed tried to defend himself. Making wild gestures and attempting to slap Mark upside the head.

“Seriously, though, we may not know what the future holds, but we know that we want you in ours.” Mark said when the impromptu battle receded. Mark pulled out a chair for Adam, and ushered him into it. “If you’re truly worried about whether or not we’ll make an honest man out of you one day, then we’ll deal with it when the time comes. Now come on, let’s eat before Jed’s stomach starts making those horrible noises that it always makes around this time of night.”

“I do not think that my stomach-” Jed’s belly decided to cut him off with a glorious rumble. The other two men laughed. “Well this wouldn’t be a problem if you fed me properly!”

“Bitch bitch bitch.” Mark muttered as he wandered back to the stove with Jed in tow.

Adam sat down and he watched his lovers bicker. He smiled. For the first time in a long time he wasn’t worried about the future. He tried to think of a life without these two ridiculous men, and he immediately felt an ache in his gut. Adam pushed the feeling away, relishing in the here and now. Adam didn’t know what would come of this crazy relationship, or if he would ever really want to be married. But for now he knew that he was happy and loved; which was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> _Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by._  
>  My love is strong, with you there is no wrong, together we shall go until we die.  
> An inspiration is what you are to me. 
> 
> _And so today, my world it smiles; your hand in mine, we walk the miles._  
>  Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.  
> Happiness, no more be sad, happiness. I'm glad. 
> 
> _If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.  
>  When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me._


End file.
